I first came to learn about the Semi-Colon tattoos by a non-profit organization called The Semi-Colon Project. On March 1st,2014 they were encouraging everyone who had ever been through (or struggling through) mental illness or anyone who wanted to show support to people with illness by drawing a semi-colon on their wrist.
I fell so in love with this small but significant symbol. It was so perfect.It was small and elegant, and yet so meaningful and encouraging.
Growing up through my teenage years I struggled through my share of illness. I was depressed for years, not that very many people could tell. I was always the smiley, happy kid that was always trying to make everyone else laugh and smile, all the while hiding my own pain inside. I had been told once when I was little that it wasn't right for me to share my feelings with others. That it wasn't right to put such a burden on other people. And for years I lived with this mentality.
Family bonds were never strong. And I always felt that I had no one to talk to and no one to turn to. I soon learned that I was an outcast in my close circles. Everything I had to say or think was contrary to everyone else, and for this I always felt like some alien trying to learn to speak English. I soon learned that it was less painful to just not talk at all rather than open up and be shut down immediately. I was angry all the time, I was hurting, I was numb.
It was deep into my depression that I started self-harming myself in any way I could. I was so numbed out I just needed to feel something. I knew it wasn't good for me, but it didn't matter to me. At that time I believed that no one would care whether I was alive or dead so why should it matter? For years I lived like this, falling deeper and deeper into misery. Until I found that writing music helped me cope, and allowed me to express my pain without physical harm. And for that reason I poured my heart into writing and recording songs and I slowly started getting better. And today in 2016, I am completely healed. My scars are almost faded away. My heart is healing too.
I got my Semi-Colon Tattoo September 14, 2015.
It is the most beautiful and rewarding tattoo I have. Every-time I see it on my wrist I remember the things I have survived through. The situations, the memories, the pain, the scars. And my heart aches when I see someone else's scars, and see their pain. It just makes me want to wrap my arms around them and cry with them, and let them know that they aren't alone. And if you're reading this, please know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! And you are so loved! I know life tries to knock us all down sometimes, but life is so beautiful and worth living! And maybe you wont be able to see through the pain today, or tomorrow, but I promise you it doesn't last forever! I am so encouraged and blessed when someone I have never talked to before comes up to me and starts talking to me about the things they've gone through and how even just seeing my tattoo and knowing what it means shows them that I am someone that will understand them and someone they can talk to.
Keep your chin up beautiful people!Be strong and be happy.
This is a song I wrote Broken Beauty for Self-Harm Awareness day. If you would like, take a listen.
Love you guys!
-Adelaide
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